Signs you need to start Regulating your Nervous System
On social media and in my day-to-day life, I talk about regulating your nervous system a lot. Through my own personal journey with regulating my nervous system, I want to share some tips on what your nervous system is, identifying if yours is dysregulated and how to regulate your nervous system,
What is the Nervous System?
Our nervous system is made up of the brain and spinal cord.
The brain is talking to the body all the time and vice versa. When we go through difficult experiences(trauma) in life that our mind and body can’t understand or handle, it stores that memory in our brain & physical body, and that memory has a stamp of “bad.” Your Nervous System will begin to build up defenses against anything it perceives to be similar to the original event. This is so we don’t have to get hurt again. It’s your body's way of protecting you from pain.
Your mind-body connection is incredible and really just wants to help you through regulating your nervous system.
The problem is when it goes into hypervigilance mode and, over time, perceives everything as dangerous. This is when you start to develop chronic mental or physical symptoms. Symptoms include chronic pain, physical illness, depression, anxiety, or eating disorders, just to name a few.
Trauma can Trigger your Nervous System
I want to share with you the story of what I went through when my nervous system was at its worst, and I didn’t know what was wrong.
In grad school, I was so excited to be there and start my journey of becoming a therapist. It had been a dream of mine since I was 15! But then, my then-partner and I broke up. I was devastated. This was hands down the hardest breakup I’ve ever been through, and I was on the struggle bus. I couldn’t pay attention in school because I was so focused on the grief that came from it.
I started to develop chronic physical pain in my muscles & joints that left me crying to sleep at night. All I felt was pain and hopelessness because none of the treatments I tried provided relief.
How a Dysregulated Nervous System can React in your body and mind
When you go through experiences that your nervous system perceives as too difficult to handle, like trauma, a high-pressure school or a breakup, it starts to become overwhelming. This flicks a switch in your nervous system to perceive everything as dangerous to try and protect you from anything like that experience again. It will use things you can control, like food and exercise for example, as a coping mechanism to feel in control.
In my case, my brain focused on food and exercise to try and control something so that I wouldn’t feel so out of control. This turned into a serious eating disorder, which is also related to the nervous system.
Why is this relevant? Well, because everything I just told you screams that you need to work on regulating your nervous system.
Identify if your Nervous System is Dysregulated
There are a few things you can do to monitor your nervous system and identify if it’s regulated or not. I want you to start to pay attention to signals of stress in your mind and body. You can break stress down into 3 parts to look out for:
Your thoughts
What thoughts are you having when you’re experiencing anxiety, shame or guilt? These might be negative, self-critical or catastrophizing thoughts.
Sensations in your body
What’s happening in your body right now? Does it feel tight, heavy or constricted? Do you have a “pit in your stomach” kind of feeling? Do you feel open, grounded or excited?
Your emotions
What emotions are coming up for you? I recommend Googling the “feelings wheel,” getting familiar with different emotions and pinpointing what you’re feeling.
Regulating your nervous system
Once you’ve worked through steps 1-3 and you’re aware of what’s going on in your mind and body, then you can use skills to regulate. It’s important to identify how you feel before you work to treat it so you can find the best treatment for you.
Once I learned how to tell my brain & body that I was safe and could handle the emotional pain that came up, my physical pain went away. I didn’t need to control my body or food intake anymore. I know it sounds simple, but the best skill your nervous system responds to when you’re dysregulated is breathwork. Seriously though, I can tell you from my personal experience and my clients that breathwork works!
So, take 10 deep breaths, in through your nose and out through your mouth, noticing your diaphragm expanding on the inhale and contracting on the exhale. Make sure your exhales are longer than your inhales, and focus on your lungs (rather than your chest).
What’s Next
I am not saying that regulating your nervous system is the secret to a better life. I’m someone who feels hard and still has my own struggles. BUT my Nervous System doesn’t overreact by shutting down my body or making me feel out of control with anxiety when hard times come up. I’ve learned to help myself by listening to my nervous system and calming it when needed. I’ve learned to ask for support and know who I can go to and process with; my therapists, loved ones, spiritual mentors, and my higher power.
So, when we work with our nervous system, we are working to tell our minds and bodies that we’re safe and these experiences we go through in life are ok. Life isn’t always easy, but we can handle it and just need to build up the confidence to do so.
I currently have a few openings for online nervous system coaching. Working with your nervous system can give you the tools you need to cope with what you’re going through and start your path toward healing.
Click below to schedule your free 15-minute intro call, where we can have a no-pressure chat about your current situation and how coaching can support you.
